Reminders:
Rules for a strong thesis: a) Never question b) Never a fact c) Always conveys writer’s opinion
Introductory paragraphs include: Attention grabbing topic sentence(s), strong thesis statement, and essay map (sentence(s) that give the reader a sense of how the thesis will be supported (body paragraph topics)
Deadline: Thursday by 3:15
Respond to one another’s thesis (need to say more than good job–explain what is good or weak)
March 11, 2009 at 7:06 pm
The Webster’s dictionary defines “beast” as monster, degenerate, animal, or savage. The Lord of the Flies refers to the beast as the imaginary, and the thing that scares all. In the beginning of the novel the children all acts like children but as time progresses fear dominate. This beast represents a fear of the unknown, and idealism of youth. Children are born innocent and through life’s journeys, become involved with the sins of human nature.
March 11, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Karlie. I really like your topic and your attention grabber is really good. Its kind of confusing though when you say that the beast repreasents a fear of the unknown,and the idealism of youth. Its hard to see how it represents both.
March 11, 2009 at 8:16 pm
In Golding’s well known book, Lord of the Flies, a group of British school boys become stranded on an uncharted island when their plane was shot out of the sky. Initially the boys work together to survive, but over time they became more and more barbaric and savage. This happened because they were no longer in a civilized environment. They had to change their ways in order to survive on the island. There were no laws, adults, or norms to guide them like they had in Britain. They also found great excitement in the savage way of life and became more absorbed into it as the book goes on.
March 11, 2009 at 8:35 pm
good job maia your first thesis is really good and i realy like your topic too
March 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm
You are twelve years old, and you have crash landed on an island. You have little to no hope for rescue. What would you do? This is exactly what happens to the boys in Lord of the Flies, and from this any sense of innocence they ever had was gone forever. No matter how you are raised, being forced into a situation were you have to kill and be ruthless to survive, will ruin your innocence and turn you to savagery. This happens to the boys because there is no chose for them, but to kill pigs for food. They have been trapped so long that they cannot feel the need for rules any more, and because Jack wants to be the leader so much that his arguing and obsession with hunting pigs delays the boys from every getting anything done.
March 12, 2009 at 5:52 am
Good job Josh, you really stick to your theseis and you have good supporting sentences
March 12, 2009 at 6:00 am
Would the innocence of a child or man sustain in extreme conditions? Are we naturally good even when we do horrible things to one another. The young boys in the Lord of the Flies dissmised their innocence when they ignored the little boys, when they killed Piggy and Simon, and and when Jack creates his own tribe against Ralph. The boys will corrupt and savage for long after they are rescued.
March 12, 2009 at 7:40 am
Nice job Moorea, but you might want to consider redoing your essay map it is a little unclear.
March 12, 2009 at 7:41 am
If you were stranded on an island, what would you do to survive? In Golding’s book, Lord of the Flies, school boys get in a plane crash and end up on an island. The boys have to form a way of survival. They need to find food, water, shelter, and heat. The boys find many ways to survive.
March 12, 2009 at 7:41 am
Maia I really like your thesis, but i think you should open up with a quote because your opening is a little plain.
March 12, 2009 at 7:44 am
maia, you have a really good essay map, and i know what your thesis is, good job. you might want to think of a better transition sentence though.
March 12, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Sam, I really like your paragraph. Its very descriptive and I can really tell what your thesis is. I really like how you started with a question, it really gets me interested. Great job!
March 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Josh, take it easy on the “you”. I’m not an English teacher, but I always thought “you” was a bad word for an argumentative essay. Other than that, great thesis and projected proofs. I think this essay will be very easy for you to write.
March 12, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Moorea, I think that your first paragraph was “short, sweet and to the point”. Unfortunately, I don’t see how your projective proofs support your thesis at all. But, then again, I haven’t read the essay so I wouldn’t know. I also think you need more of a transition into your first paragraph. Good luck on your essay!
March 12, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Karli, don’t you think that a definition for a hook is a bit cliche’? Also, there isn’t much of a transition into your second paragraph. Other than that, I think your thesis and points will serve you well in the future.
March 12, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Sam, your opening statement is very catchy and good, but you dont have an opinion. Your just stating diiferent facts about the book.
March 12, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Josh your thesis and essay map are very good. It is clear and straight to the point. You make it very easy to relate to,and it puts the reader into the shoes of the characters of the book very well. Great job.
March 13, 2009 at 6:02 am
Karli, I really like your opening sentence it is a very good atteniton grabber.