Reminders:
Rules for a strong thesis: a) Never question b) Never a fact c) Always conveys writer’s opinion
Introductory paragraphs include: Attention grabbing topic sentence(s), strong thesis statement, and essay map (sentence(s) that give the reader a sense of how the thesis will be supported (body paragraph topics)
Deadline: Thursday by 3:15
Respond to one another’s thesis (need to say more than good job–explain what is good or weak)
March 10, 2009 at 1:11 pm
If stuck on a tropical island, in the middle of nowhere, would a person still follow modern society’s rules? Would it still be important to act civil? Or would surviving be the most important thing regardless on how savage a person would become? The novel, Lord Of The Flies, is a great example of how savage man would be, without rules to live by. The boys in the novel show the difference between minor wrong doings, major wrong doings, and attempt at overthrowing the major source of authority, all between the savage part of man, and the civilized part, The boys do what it takes to survive on the island, but they completely disregard the modern rules of society.
March 10, 2009 at 7:35 pm
I think thats a great start Sav!
March 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Without rules in a society, mankind will naturally be savage and undisciplined. Without rules there are no limits to anybody’s actions or thoughts. With no limits, people would not know rights or wrongs, however limits would soon be established. As seen in Lord of the Flies, when the boys get to the island, they have no rules and everybody does what they want. Soon however, they start to realize they must have rules to survive. The rules on the island are much different as the rules in their normal society. Because of this difference, the limits are changed and so are the actions of the boys. The boys become savage and undisciplined to survive. Eventhough there are established limits, they are different from normal society. They are different from normal society because ina normal society rules and limits are set to keep people in line, on the island, the rules and limits are set to survive.
March 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Lord of the Flies is a tale a group of children’s descent into madness. The originally peaceful boys turn to violence and dementia. Nowhere is this transformation more pronounced than with Jack Merridew. Before the plane crashed Jack was the head of a choir. As the story progresses, however, Jack becomes more and more ruthless, and quite insane. He starts out unable to kill a piglet, and when he finally does it shakes him, although he is thrilled at the same time. These feelings trouble Jack less and less because of the face paint with which he hides his face. It blocks him both from the sight of the pigs and from his own feelings of guilt and mercy. With the mask on Jack can feel only the need to kill. Jack first commits murder during a feast in which he stabs a boy named Simon. Disturbingly, Jack was aided by most of the other older boys. An associate of his also crushes a boy named Piggy. Jack goes from (mostly) innocent choir leader to brutal murderer.
March 11, 2009 at 3:37 pm
The boys in Lord of the Flies did almost everything contradictory to their survival. There are three main reasons that these boys were not rescued sooner. These are loose rules, the power struggle between Jack and Ralph, and splitting up. If it were not for these the boys could have gone home much earlier.
March 12, 2009 at 9:05 am
Gabe, I think you have a lot of opinion in your paragraph. That is really good and I agree with it as well.
March 12, 2009 at 9:06 am
Tyler, you have a lot of good examples from the book which makes your thesis very clear.
March 12, 2009 at 9:06 am
Sasha, you might want to think about a better attention grabber. The rest looks good though.
March 12, 2009 at 9:07 am
Sasha,
I really like your topic, and your introduction is very good. I like how you already begin to show examples of this. My only advice would be to make your essay map broader. You may have too many examples in the intro. It was hard to tell what you’re main points are.
March 12, 2009 at 9:08 am
Gabe,
I really like your introduction. It really shows a strong opinion on your part. You may want to make it a little longer though. But it looks great!
March 12, 2009 at 9:09 am
Tyler your essay map and thesis statment are very clear
Your off to a good start though.
March 12, 2009 at 9:14 am
I like the point Gabe is pushing here. However, I think maybe it ought to be a little longer. Maybe you could write a little about how Golding chose children in order to make it easier to believe they could make such terrible decisions. Another thing maybe you could write about is how they believed a ship coming by was a once in a life time thing. If it’s already happened so soon after the crash, it will probably happen again. Just some suggestions!
March 12, 2009 at 9:15 am
Do young children ever realized the great pleasure of being able to play in the yard with no real responsibilities, and to be able to get away with total ignorance of society and its norms? Children have short convenience of being socially ignorant, childish and innocent. These things are major topics in Lord of the Flies. As the boys are stranded on an island with no adults, they must fend for themselves, and in doing so, they become savage. Without the presence of a mature and intelligent person, innocence will be lost, social norms will be forgotten and childish and irresponsible behavior will increase, as demonstrated in Lord of the Flies.
March 12, 2009 at 9:19 am
TYLER-I like your opinion, but I think you need a better attention grabber. I think you need a phrase you have later in the para graph that is exciting to draw people in. I also think that you are mostly stating fact. You are mostly telling the story. These points may be good things to argue, but I think you should get more of your opinion into the story!
March 12, 2009 at 9:20 am
I think maybe Sasha could write a little about punishments in her intro. The boys do make up rules, but there are no consequences to breaking them. Thus, they hardly count.
March 12, 2009 at 9:21 am
Gabe-I like your point, but you need an attention grabber and then lead into the thesis statement and essay map. I think what you have is a really good start!
March 12, 2009 at 1:00 pm
FORGET MY FIRST PARAGRAPH
What is civilization? According to American Heritage, civilization is “a modern society with its conveniences…showing evidence of moral and intellectual advancement” (256). In Lord of The Flies, Piggy is the representation of civilization. In the beginning, Piggy found a conch shell that brought all the boys together. In the middle of he book, Piggy loses his glasses (to Jack’s tribe), and the boys lose sight of what they need to survive and create a civilized society. At the end of the book when Piggy is killed, the so-called civilization is brought to total chaos.
March 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm
The boys in the book called lord of the flies used different survival instincts in order to stay alive or to be rescue from the island. They used some resources like fire,shelter, food, water.
Did you ever imagine being in an airplane, and all of a sodden the plane crashes and you find you self in and island were you have never been before and around you the only thing you could see or here were, you could only see the ocean around you and the birds fling in the sky and among you there is no adult to decide what is write or wrong and you decide to vote for some one to be your leader and the person is just as young as you are how would you fill, that’s what happens in the book called LORD OF THE FLIES and there were only boys in the plane crash. But. These boys were really brave and strong they slept in shelters every day without any blanket nothing just exposed to the cold air and the only thing they had to cover themselves at night were, the lives of trees used to build their shelters and some of them did not have warm clothes to put on at night so the sleep in shorts.
March 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm
kelsey, I think your into is good but you might want to express more opinion in it.
March 12, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Tsamo i think you have a very good start but u need to have a better attention grabing sentence
March 12, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Rachael, I think that your first sentence need to be revised a little bit. It’s a bit choppy and there area few spelling and grammatical errors.
March 12, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Tyler, your paragraph is very well written, but I think that you could delete the first three sentences and use a better attention grabber.
March 13, 2009 at 6:50 pm
kelsey i think yours is realy good but you migth need more ideas in you paragraph
March 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Tsamo
Mrs. Gu
English
Block c
March 9
Easy writing
LORD OF THE FLIES
The boys in the book called lord of the flies used different survival instincts in order to stay alive. they used some resources like fire ,shelter, food, water.
Did you ever imagine being in an airplane, and all of a sodden the plane crashes and you find you self in and island, in the sea or some were you do not even know. among you there is no adult to decide what is write or wrong and you decide to vote for some one to be your leader and the person is just as young as you are how would you fill, that’s what happens in the book called Lord of the Flies and there were only boys in the plane crash. But. These boys were really brave . imagine sleeping in a shelter every day without any blanket nothing just exposed to the cold air and the only thing covert you at night were the lives of trees used to build your shelter and some of them did not have warm clothes to put on at night so the sleep in shorts
Another thing they used in other to survive was Shelter is means by which you protect your body from excess exposure from the sun, cold, wind, rain, or snow. any thing that takes away and adds to your overall body temperature can be your enemy. clothing is the first line of shelter protection, when the plain landed on the island and after they got unified the first thing they thought of was fire and the second thing was how to protect themselves at night, so they decided to built shelters, every one participated on building they each wanted a place to sleep and protect them selves at night.
Food/water.whitout water or food you can’t stay alive. So the boys also had to look to see what kind of food and animals fruits that could be found on the island which human could eat. and they did a really good job on these too separating the groups which Jack was the leader of the hunters and the animals the hunted were pigs and rusted them to eat for dinner an some other fruits and when the food was ready it was basically every man for him self.
With out water you can’t live right. There was a little beading pool on the island were the boys toke their shower every day in they also used the water for drinking and turning out their fire.
There were some good and bad things they did with these sources for example fire, when the fire was burning the island, it was good and bad at the same time. It was good because if and air plain was or a ship was pacing they could easily be rescue and the bad thing was that a boy got burned in the forest another was the hunters using their tools for what they should not be using it for and people fighting on food.