Reminders:
Rules for a strong thesis: a) Never question b) Never a fact c) Always conveys writer’s opinion
Introductory paragraphs include: Attention grabbing topic sentence(s), strong thesis statement, and essay map (sentence(s) that give the reader a sense of how the thesis will be supported (body paragraph topics)
Deadline: Thursday by 3:15
Respond to one another’s thesis (need to say more than good job–explain what is good or weak)
March 11, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Why would children care about their behavior if they were stranded without any adults telling them what to do? Because there were no adults around to take care of them and control what they did, the boys could do anything they wanted. Taking into account their need of food and water the boys waited patiently for rescue at first. Although some drifted in the interest of their wants, they did find enough to survive. Few had a positive influence on the younger children for them to act mature and responsible. With no one to guide them they had trouble taking responsibility for their actions and didn’t feel it was needed. When they got themselves into a situation, they didn’t take the responsible route for resolving it. The boys were irresponsible because they let the fire go out, they weren’t working for the whole group, and they eventually stopped working together at all.
March 11, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Emily- I think that the beggining is alittle rough and you need to say its from the book LOF but other than that I think it is a really good start!
March 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Whenever someone tells you to “just grow up” or “be mature”, have you ever taken it into consideration? These are some of the issues our society deals with today. In Lord of the Flies the boys have to learn how to be civilized. Because they are just young boys, at first, they just want to have fun. They didn’t know the true meaning of survival at first and I’m sure no one would be if they were in these boys positions. Every character in this novel is different and they also portray different things. Such as intelligence, bravery, stupidity, and loyalty. The author does a great job at showing this through the characters with their behavior towards each other and how they deal with their problems.
March 11, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I think yours is sounding pretty good Emily. I like how you went into detail to describe what you are arguing.
March 11, 2009 at 8:44 pm
good job jen your thesis is really good and you did a great job explening it
March 11, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Nice job Jen it is looking good!
March 11, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Have you ever wondered what it would be like on an island with just boys? Would it be civilized, or uncivilized? In Lord of The Flies, there is a plane with all guys that crash there and they have to look after themselves. In the book it illustrates survival of the fittest. The fittest would be more successful at hunting and getting fresh water. Even though survival of the fittest exists today, it’s always not true. In the book Jack has a arrogant personality but is a “fit” person and then finds the sows and kills them for food, the littuns’ are not so fit since they are so old and they have a hard time to keep up with the others, and then there was Ralph who Jack was trying to push him to do what he wanted Ralph to do for him like climb a mountain or stop his leadership of the “tribe”.
March 12, 2009 at 11:25 am
Do morals exist outside of society? Without rules or figures to force them people don’t have boundaries or morals as time goes on. At first the boys were civilized but later as time went on they lost contact with their morals. Without an important figure to “govern” the people their laws wont be enforced if this figure has no authority. Without morals the difference between right and wrong quickly blend and bend our thoughts causing us to be savages.
March 12, 2009 at 11:30 am
Robyn, I think you’re thesis is a little unclear, but I think it’s great other ways.
Jen, I like yours but it needs to be more formal.
March 12, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Jen, I like how you mention the authors perspective on the boys living out on thier own, but do you think they really learned the true means of survival throughout the book.
March 12, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Elise, I love how you mention without anyone governing them the laws wouldn’t be enforced, but at the beginning the boys weren’t exactly aware of how to be civilized and knew their morals. Do you think that all of the boys were interested in following these morals or were they just interested in fulfilling their wants? If I recall correctly only Ralph, Piggy, and Simon knew and respected the morals. The other boys may have seemed interested in being rescued as well, but that’s because they didn’t have previous time with all of the others to “get them on their side”, so it seemed more like they were just going along with it.
March 12, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Lord of the Flies
Why is innocence such an important part of childhood? Lord of the Flies has many representations of innocence. Like on how Ralph throws his clothes off and runs around in the nude. This represents child birth; innocence because you are naked when you are born. You are also completely helpless to. Also, the young children; littleuns represent innocence in the book because they are completely reliant on the older children; biguns and they are teased and bullied by the biguns. The idea of innocence plays a huge part in the book. Innocence is one of the biggest themes in the book, Lord of the Flies
March 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Elise your paragraph was very good it was short and to the point maybe you could drag it out a little more add more sentences or something but over all well done!
March 12, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Robyn your paragraph was very good you may want to double check it next before you post it there are a couple of mistakes in your spell and grammar but its a great start!
March 12, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Okay, so, I’m not by any means pleased with this, but here goes:
Throughout history, many great societies have risen and fallen, and in all cases of societal extinction, the downfall has been, at least in part, due to the civilization’s eroding from the inside out. However, the self destructive tendencies of any “proper” culture take root in the norms and conduct which it imposes and enforces upon itself. Upon inception, a society will begin to compose a code of conduct that all members must then adhere to on some penalty. The populace then, more often than not, becomes dissatisfied with its own rules, and modifies them to account for variables that were unseen at the time the original guidelines were conceived. Eventually, the society becomes caught in a perpetual cycle of modification and abolishment of old rules, and introduction of new rules. This pattern continues to the point where the civilization completely rebuilds itself after so long. Since any community that is not completely static and isolated is subject to this change, they all fall into the continuous cycle of construction and self-destruction that ultimately results in downfall. The result of all this is a convoluted paradox of the creation and destruction of societies based on their own collective actions.
________________________________________________________
In terms of comments, I think anyone who references the book in the introduction should probably introduce it more thoroughly. Here are some more specific comments though:
Emily: Give the book more credit so that people know what you mean when you talk about “the boys” and “the fire”. Maybe something to the effect of *first sentence* William Golding entertained such a situation in his book, Lord of the Flies. *Explain the premise of the book*
Just a suggestion.
Jen: I would suggest giving the book a bit more of an introduction, but it’s probably optional. Also, I’m not entirely sure what your thesis is. It almost seems more like an analysis than an argument.
Robyn: Pretty good, but I think you should give more background on the book (namely author). Also, you seem to assume the reader has already read the book, so I would write for a target audience of people who aren’t familiar with any of it.
Elise: Really good, but somewhat concentrated when it comes to information. I think you need a little more “filler” to flesh out details and explain your thought process from the time of “Without morals the difference between right and wrong quickly blend and bend our thoughts” and “causing us to become savages.” I think I would need more information to explain the jump to that conclusion.
Peace.
March 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Thank you Jackson…
Elise- I think Your is good and I like how you mention some of the charecters but be carful of not putting too much information in the first paragragh, and I hope you get better soon!
Jackson- I think this is a good start but I think you shouldn’t tell all of your facts in the first paragragh so that it keeps the reader interested and want to read more instead of getting all of the info in the begining.
Thanks Connor!
Connor- I think that this is a great start but I think that you need to use less semi-colons and more of a sentance base, but other than that I think that it is good.
March 12, 2009 at 2:07 pm
hey guys sorry im so lake i had a horriblr mygrane.
How can list kids have no survival skills? These kids cant even suvive without commen sence. The boys first kills many killed others, stared a fire and they had no how survive. The Siman was the best at it surviving. Ralph was the most civilized and the best charater.
March 12, 2009 at 3:31 pm
@ Robyn: Actually, those weren’t all my facts, but merely a breif introduction. But that is a really good piece of advice and something I need to be more aware of. Thanks.
March 12, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Connor: I forgot to comment on yours. Sorry. I think you should probably clarify your thesis some more. It seems like you sort of wrote the entire paper in the introduction. Also, I would try using more central ideas in the intro rather than specific examples.
March 15, 2009 at 10:07 am
mike i think u need to add alittle more info and “beef”
March 15, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Jackson: I got a little lost in your beggining paragraph. It is definitely well thought out and interesting. I’m not exactly sure what your thesis is, but are you talking about society falling apart?
March 15, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Mike: Unfortunately I could barely make out what you were saying because of the errors. Perhaps look over it next time. I agree with Robyn in the statement that you need more info because to me it seems like you are just touching on several different topics.
March 15, 2009 at 5:02 pm
“I got a little lost in your beggining paragraph.” Where did I loose you? That won’t do.
“It is definitely well thought out and interesting.” That may be a bit outlandish.
“I’m not exactly sure what your thesis is” The self destructive tendencies of any “proper” culture take root in the norms and conduct which it imposes and enforces upon itself
“are you talking about society falling apart?” Vaguely… am I ever talking about anything else
March 15, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I forgot the question mark on the end of the last sentence.
It doesn’t come across the same now…